Two Hearts Revelation
by RosalynOfTheNight
Summary: The Doctor and River have to deal with their feelings and especially the Doctor is overpowered by the questions and emotions River is causing. An insight of the thoughts and feelings during some of the events the two characters have gone through including an event that has happened and one that hasn't happened yet.
1. Day of The Moon - Doctor

**Two Hearts Revelation**

**_Or "The Doctor always dances on weddings"_**

**_Part: 1/12_**

**Author: ****_Rosalyn (RoseOfTheNight)_**

**Fandom: ****_Doctor Who_**

**Genre: ****_romance, angst_**

**Characters****_: Eleventh Doctor, River Song, Amy and Rory, Brian Williams, bernice Summerfield_**

**Pairing: ****_Eleven/River_**

**Summary: ****_The Doctor and River have to deal with their feelings and especially the Doctor is overpowered by the questions and emotions River is causing. An insight of the thoughts and feelings during some of the events the two characters have gone through including an event that has happened and one that hasn't happened yet._**

**_Spoilers up to The Angels take Manhattan._**

**Part 1**

**Post "The Day of The Moon" - Doctor**

"Doctor? What's wrong?" Amy asked. With a worried look on her face she came down the stairs to where the doctor lent against the TARDIS console.

"Nothing," he muttered. "Nothing at all."

He faked a smile.

"There is something on your mind I can see it." Amy now lent next to him on the console, facing him with interest, forcing him with her curios insistent look to tell from his heart.

He sighed. "Oh, it's just about this woman. River. I just don't know what to think about her. I just don't know if I can trust her. I know that I should but oh, I don't know she's such a mystery. I have no idea who she is. Also, she is in prison because she killed a man. How can I trust her when she never tells the truth?"

"You don't always tell the truth either," Amy put in cockily and the Doctor grinned.

"Yeah. For a reason."

"Maybe she has a reason, too. I mean she is from your future, she can't tell you everything, she has to keep things secret from you like you keep things of her future secret to her."

The Doctor nodded. "That's the problem. We both have so many secrets and we're never at the same point in time."

They had watched the Doctor die and fought the Silence. River had been very helpful; she knew how to fly the TARDIS better than him even though he would never admit that. She was very skilled in shooting and fighting what scared him a little but it nevertheless impressed him, too. Every now and then she said or did something that put him up and left him in confusion. He thought one day it would certainly drive him mad.

This time it was much unexpected for him. He dropped her off at Stormcage Containment Facility again after their acquaintance with the Silence in America and when he said goodbye, out of a sudden she kissed him. Very passionate. It was clear to him that for her this was not the first time they did. For him it was the unexpected first time. Hours later it was running through his head over and over again. What the hell will happen between them in his future? Why would they do stuff like that again? But what has bothered him most was the look on her face. It was this familiar sad look he has seen on her face before. It was back then when he met her for the first time in the library when he asked her who she was. He didn't want to see her like this ever again. He didn't want to be the reason for her sadness. When she looked at him like this he will always feel the guilt aching in his hearts. The guilt that she sacrificed herself for him and four thousand twenty-two people in The Library.

He knew only time will tell, it always did and it will reveal the truth of River Song to him. He knew he could only wait and let time pass

**_tbc~_**

_Thanks for reading, please review it would make me very happy._

_This story will probably contain 10 parts I'm working on part 4 now part 3 is the best so far. I promise it gets better a little more action comes later._


	2. Day of The Moon - River

**Part 2**

**Post "Day of the moon" - River**

River Song had a hard time lying behind her. She sat in her cell in Stormcage Containment Facility and had a rewind of what she just had gone through.

She got an invitation from her Doctor to come to Utah in the USA. There she and Amy and Rory watched the Doctor die. An impossible astronaut shot him dead and then they burned his body. Amy was so sad and River felt guilty but she couldn't say anything to calm her.

Then a younger version of the Doctor showed up again and she took the opportunity to let the anger out and slapped him. How could he invite his friends to his own death? It was cruel even though she knew that all this was his plan to escape. But she couldn't tell her friends that she knew what all of this was about. That she was going through it for the second time. Though it still broke her heart to see herself killing the love of her life. He didn't actually die but it didn't matter. Everything was still hard enough for her.

She leant back against the cool wall of her cell and closed her eyes. It hurt. She was pretty sure of the state of their relationship but it still hurt her when the Doctor looked at her and had no idea who she was. Who she was to him.

_"Who are you? Why are you in prison? Who did you kill? I like a bad girl, me, but trust you? Seriously?"_

She wouldn't show it. She never showed her feelings easily but it had hurt her. Maybe it would be easier if she could talk to someone but there was nobody she could tell about it.

She couldn't talk to the Doctor about her feelings because it would reveal too much of his future and she didn't want to appear as weak to him. She wanted to hold up her image of the cool, fearless, emancipated adventurer.

Sometimes she spoke to Amy or Rory. Her parents were the only ones she could talk to.

_"I don't fear the death of the Doctor or mine. There is a far worse day for me to come."_

She had said to Amy.

Then she told Rory her feelings.

_"The day would come that I look into this man's eyes- my doctor- and he won't have the slightest idea who I am. And I think it's going to kill me."_

Yes, she knew that it would kill her. She couldn't say what was worse, to know that he one day would not know her at all or that she had to kill him.

She almost just died as the Doctor brought her back to Stormcage after their adventure in 1969. He said goodbye and was about to leave her with that. She thought it was his usual banter with her when he asked if he had forgotten something. She smiled, pulled him closer and kissed him. Their usual goodbye kiss. For her.

_"What's wrong? You're acting like we have never done that before."_

_"We haven't."_

She had to swallow hard when she realized that this was a very young version of her Doctor. This was the first time for him. She won't ever do this again. It was her last time. The last time she would kiss him. From now on he won't know anymore who she is and what they had and it has already begun to kill her. Her eyes were watering but this time she didn't bother to let her feelings show through in front of the Doctor.

tbc~


	3. A good man and the bad woman

**A/N: Merry Christmas!**

**A good man and the bad woman**

_"Demons run when a good man goes to war_

_Night will fall and drown the sun,_

_When a good man goes to war._

_Friendship dies and true love lies,_

_When a good man goes to war._

_Demons run but count the cost_

_The battle's won but the child is lost."_

The battle of Demons Run had just ended and the Doctor was on his search for Amy and Rory's daughter. When he looked back on those recent events he still couldn't believe it completely. The truth who River Song was. The one truth about her at least. He still hasn't found out who she was to him.

However, she came in the right moment and now he knew he could trust her. She was the daughter of his best friends and he would find her whatever it takes.

The Doctor knew or at least suspected for a while that Amy wasn't really with him in the TARDIS and something had happened to her.

When he found out that she had been kidnapped and brought to Demons Run he claimed the depth of creatures all over the universe he had met before and called old friends for help (except for Jack, he was probably busy with his own nasty aliens that want to destroy the world). He also sent Rory to get River. Without success. He was pretty angry at her. All the time he came to her call. Whenever she felt like jumping from a spaceship or a skyscraper he was there to catch her. Now this one time he could really need her she wasn't there.

But he had not the time to be angry about her. Madam Kovarian had taken Amy's daughter to turn her into a weapon against him. It was quite a bit of a shock for him when he found out that Melody Pond had human plus time lord DNA.

Then at the end of the battle when everything seemed lost, Amy and Rory despaired about their lost baby, the Doctor sad and angry about the deaths of his friends who had fought with and for him. At this dark hour she made her appearance at last. River turned up out of nowhere and the Doctor threw all his rage against her.

"Where the hell have you been, River?!" he shouted.

"I couldn't have prevented this," she said and it made him even more furious.

"You could have tried!"

"And so, my love, could you."

How could she show up like this when everything was already over and lost and tell him that all was his fault. He felt so disappointed. He really had wished that he could trust her because he liked her. But then she accused him not to be worth of the word _doctor_ and that he is called mighty warrior and deep in his heart he knew that she was right but he would never ever show that to her, he was way too angry. Who gave her the right to judge him like this? Yes, she knew his future but this was no excuse. She was in prison because she killed a man. She wasn't in the position to judge him.

He wanted to know who she was.

"Who are you, River?"

Suddenly her serious features changed and a cocky smile appeared on her lips. She grabbed his hand and dragged him over to the cot he had brought for the baby.

"Tell me who you are," he pleaded again.

She touched his hand and moved it over the edge of the cot.

"I am telling you."

He looked confused in her still smiling face.

What the hell is going on, he thought. What was all this about? Will he ever understand that woman?

He had a strange feeling. It wasn't only confusion. His anger had calmed down; her hand on his was warm and gentle.

"Can't you read?" she said in a low voice. He followed her gaze down to the cot. Inside there was the leaf of green fabric with the name of Amy's daughter stitched on it. Melody Pond. In the language of the forest: River Song.

The information needed a while to sick in. This couldn't be. This was impossible, crazy…wonderful. As he finally understood what that meant all the worries, the rage and confusion was gone and he was full with joy. There was hope again. River gave it back to him.

The fact that she was Melody and that she was standing all well and gorgeous right before him made him happy and hopeful. He was so thankful to her. Now he could promise to Amy and Rory that their daughter will be alright and that he'll find her. Now he knew that he could trust River. It could've been fatal if she had come earlier but she came in the right moment and set things right.

He entrusted her to take care of Amy and Rory and left because it was now on him to find her and save her. And he would do so whatever it would take.

While he was looking for Melody he thought a lot about River. When he found her at last it was much unexpected. She got nearly killed and regenerated into the River they knew. Then she tried to kill him. And she almost succeeded. There it was again, this hopeless feeling that he had lost her again, that he had failed his friends again, when he was lying there dying by Rivers poisoned kiss. He had to make her the River he knew and admired. He knew she had to be there somewhere.

"Find River Song," he told Melody and she did. There she was. His River. Giving him all her remaining regeneration energy to save his life. His impossible, amazing River, giving him hope again. So he gave her the tardis blue diary that she possessed since he had met her the first time. Now she was complete. But was he ready for the next step yet?

It had been a while since the Doctor found Melody and she became River. He hadn't found the courage yet to visit her since then. He knew his time was upon him and he knew that it was her who would be the death of him. It was time for him to go and he would see her then anyway. He had accepted it but it still made him sad.

Tbc~


	4. The woman who married the Doctor

**Part 4 **

**The woman who married the Doctor**

It was the day when time froze and all of history happened at the same time. This was the day of the wedding of River Song.

River knew of course that it wasn't her fault. It was Madam Kovarian and the Silence who brainwashed her, put her into the space suit and forced her to kill the Doctor. But she couldn't. It was her love for him that ripped time apart. She didn't regret anything. Everything she did, she did it for him. He fixed it all anyway and how he did.

The Doctor had a clever plan to escape death again. Until that day River had never thought that she would really marry the Doctor one day and of course not that their wedding would save him and the whole reality.

When he appeared in the Pyramid and touched her time continued but she struggled hard.

River knew she had messed up time but still she couldn't allow it to go on because it would mean the Doctor would die by her hand.

_"Am I the woman who married you or the woman who murdered you?"_

_"Oh, I don't wanna marry you."_

_"And I don't want to murder you."_

She, too, had a plan. On top of the Pyramid they stood in a whole different, totally messed up reality with the whole universe there to help him. But that impossible man just accepted that he had to die, that the universe was better off without him. Only she hadn't and she never would accept it.

At this point she couldn't be the cool, tough River she used to be most of the time because she didn't want to let the Doctor see her broken since it would also break his hearts.

This time was different. His life was at stake. Her eyes were watering. She couldn't hold back her feelings; she had to let him know that she loved him with all her heart and she couldn't let him die because it would kill her, too.

She may have been selfish at this point but she didn't care either.

With her confession she made the Doctor run out of arguments, not many could say to be capable to do so.

Then he did that incredible thing without even asking her (there was no time for formalities of course). It was a very short form of a gallifreyan wedding ceremony but still it made her heart and mind race and she couldn't quite believe it when he said they were married now.

However, the big surprise came when he revealed his plan to her, when she looked into his eye and saw the miniature Doctor inside.

At this moment she knew why she loved this man so much.

It was so true. As she had said to her father, he was clever and mad and wonderful, who else should she had fallen in love with?

_"You may kiss the bride."_

And what a kiss it was. Time continued. This was just his style, fixing reality with a kiss.

Everyone believed him dead now but she knew better. She had to go to prison for killing the man she loved and she was okay with that. He was alive, she would see him again and they will travel the universe and go on adventures together. On top of all, she was the woman who married the Doctor.

It was raining. She had to get used to it because what else was to expect from Stromcage. It was her first day there and it already started to get boring. But she was ok with it. She knew that she wasn't guilty. Her Doctor was alive and she was his wife. It was worth the twelve thousand condemned life sentences imprisoned. So, to find something to do she took out the tardis-blue book the Doctor gave her and started to think what to write into it.

Suddenly there was a different noise beneath the cracking thunderstorm of Stormcage. A strange wheezing sound. River looked up. It was a very familiar sound and her heart started to race faster. She jumped up from her bed to see the blue phone box materialize in front of her cell.

The Doctor stepped out and soniced her cell door open.

It was their first night together, their so called wedding night and she was very excited to see what he had in store for her first date with him. So it looked like her nights in prison won't be that boring at all. She would put all her nights with him, all their adventures in the book he told her to use as a diary.

She could do nothing than admire him when he explained her where they were going with such excitement and glee.

She hadn't expected him to be so romantic as he told her that he would take her to watch the stars with her. She didn't show it much but she was really excited to sit with him under a night sky lit by more stars than anywhere else in the universe.

But their date started in a very odd way; she already knew that being married to the Doctor wouldn't be simple. Something was going on while she was away in the wardrobe to dress for the occasion, she heard him talking to someone but he assured her that he was alone. When she came back for the third time she could see another Doctor leaving the TARDIS. But that wasn't what worried her the most. It was the expression on his face when he couldn't answer her question what the other version of him had been doing there. He smiled at her but she could tell that it wasn't honest and that something was troubling him. This was the difficult part of their relationship. They could never tell each other everything. There would always be secrets between them. The secret of their futures.

Tbc~

**A/N: Thanks for reading and leave some revies, please ;)**

**Their nights together I'll write down in another story. Meanwhile you may like to check out my drabbles for some of the things they could or should have done then^^**

**Also there will be one or two chapters more, series 7 The angels Take manhattan is in and after there is something new at last, so hang on =) oh and I have several endings in mind just don't know yet which one it will be but I'll upload the other version too.**


	5. The first Night and a question

**The First Night and a question**

Their wedding night was special. The Doctor picked her up at Stormcage on her first day imprisoned to take her on her first trip on the TARDIS with him. Well, the first proper trip. The one to Berlin didn't count. It was their first date together as husband and wife.

He had been thinking for a while about where to take her. Then he had decided to take her to Caulderin Beta, a boring Planet on 21th September 2360 where they could see more stars than anywhere else at any other time. He thought that would be appropriate for her first date with him.

He told her to use the tardis-blue book as a diary to write all their adventures down, so that they could compare where in time they were. While River went to dress, an unexpected person appeared. It was also River but from the future. She was chased across the galaxy by some Sontarans. When he heard her knock he opened the TARDIS door and she fell into his arms.

For a brief moment he was really worried when she laid motionless and flabbily in his arms. She wasn't breathing and the Doctor began to panic.

He wanted this to be a good night, just a nice trip together with his wife watching the stars. Well, a little adventure included would do no harm. However, a dead River wasn't part of the plan.

Then he noticed it wasn't the case anyway since her heart was beating and she was just holding her breath. He should have been very angry but he was just glad and got the hold of the situation back at once.

River noticed the dress he had brought for her younger self and she said that the last time they have been there, she had heard him talking to someone and shot off to look for whom he had brought it and who else was there.

"It's the same night!" the Doctor cried out in frustration.

The younger River came back, asking who he was talking to.

Why was it always so complicated with this woman? But it was also exciting and a whole new experience every time and he just loved it.

As if two suspicious Rivers haven't been enough, the door of the TARDIS opened and another River from the future burst in.

She was wondering about the dress the Doctor had brought for her younger self, too. It was the same one she was wearing right now. She thought again that he had brought someone else.

The Doctor was tired of explaining and sent her to check on the bulb.

There were to other versions of River in the TARDIS and it wouldn't be good if they would meet. So when the second River returned he sent her back to Stormcage via her vortex manipulator while she was complaining about what it always does to her hair.

The Doctor, who had already forgotten about her awful joke minutes ago, was amused and as soon as this River was disappeared the one who was outside checking on the light came back in and right after her an older version of himself in a black tuxedo and hat.

"Younger Version…" the future Doctor said when he saw the younger self of him.

"Two of you, my mind races," River said in excitement.

She probably knew that it was best when she would retire. This was a delicate situation.

"He is bringing me to the Singing Towers of Darrilium. He's promising me for ages."

And with that she swept through the door.

This was indeed delicate. The Singing Towers of Darrillium. He had heard her mention them before and it hurt remembering it.

"The first time we met her at the library, when she…"

"…died, yeah," the future Doctor finished his sentence.

"She said the last time she saw us was at Darrillium. Is that now?"

His other self replied with just one word: "Spoilers."

But the way he looked, the sadness in his eyes rather gave it away. It was his last night with her. The night before she died.

He felt a strange pain in his chest, closing in on his hearts.

The other Doctor wished him good luck.

"You, too," he replied and his future self went off after the future, soon dying River.

The Doctor had no time to recover properly from what he had just experienced as his River appeared again, still catching a glimpse of the just leaving future Doctor and gasped the same phrase of the other River before.

"Two of you, my mind races."

The Doctor felt very uncomfortable. He changed the subject.

"Right, come on, go and see the stars."

"But I haven't changed." River was still carrying a bunch of clothes in her arms.

"And you never will, River. Never ever."

He smiled a faked smile at her, trying not to give away any of his real feelings.

"What is the other you doing here?" River asked curiously, ignoring his attempt to distract her from the delicate subject.

"Sorry, can't say," he said seriously.

"What is the word you use?"

He laughed. That was his River.

"Spoilers."

"I like that word."

"I thought you might."

He had a very hard time keeping himself together and she didn't make it easy for him, quite the opposite was the case.

"Oh Doctor," she sighed. "You and your secrets, you will be the death of me."

When she left to go out to see the stars as he had said, he let go at last.

Her last sentence made his pain even stronger because it was true. She will die because she sacrificed herself for him. He hated the thought of losing her again. He had always hated to lose someone dear of course but River was special. She was his wife. He didn't want to lose her. They still have many nights together ahead, he focused on that and pulled himself together for her to make this a good first date.

_"I point and laugh at archaeologists."_

That's what he said to her when he first met her in The Library. He was so young back then and he knew so little. He knew nothing about a certain professor of archaeology. He hadn't the faintest clue about who she was and who she would be to him.

_"Who are you?"_

_"I'm professor River Song University of…"_

_"To me. Who are you to me?"_

_"Again, spoilers."_

But she knew his name therefore he had no choice but to trust her. Now that he looks back at this day he never had thought to meet someone who could compete with him and handle him like she does _and _being an archaeologist. After the events in the library, after he had literally saved her there, he had been wondering about her many times but couldn't figure out anything at all. He had been wondering how much she really knew about him and if he would really see her again what would acquire that she had said the truth about her being from his future. Actually it had to be since he couldn't find another explanation especially because she knew his name. This woman was a complete riddle to him. He couldn't even figure out much more when he at last met her again as the Byzantium crashed.

The only thing that he knew was that she knew his future and that scared him. A little. Well, actually not just a little. Sometimes it was really frustrating that she was so damn good in not giving away anything when he asked her about his future and she liked to tease him because she knew his curiosity.

Now that he knew who she was, that she was the daughter of his companions Amy and Rory, a child of the TARDIS with Time Lord DNA, the woman who killed the Doctor, now he was wondering about different things but still things concerning River Song and his timey-wimey relationship with her.

Just now he was sitting on the old stuffed seat in the control room of the TARDIS, absent-minded and pondering. It had been quite a while now since he last visited River and he hoped that she wouldn't be too angry with him but he wasn't ready yet. He had to think about something first.

His mind was always full with all of time and space and he could think of many different things at the same time. That could be useful if there wasn't much time to think. But it was more effective to put everything else aside and concentrate on just one problem at the same time. He didn't thought about his future so much before he knew River Song. There was one thing he kept wondering and he had asked River many times about it but she kept silent.

_Major spoilers._

To be honest, there were actually two things that kept his big time lord mind occupied. One, concerning his future with River the other he didn't dared to think about too often, concerning him in personal, not only his future but also his present.

_"River, you know my name. You whispered my name in my ear. There is only one way I would ever tell anyone my name. There is only one time I could…"_

There could only be one time when he could tell her his name and ever since she'd whispered it into his hear he had wondered when this time will come. He had never thought it possible after he returned from the time war in which he had lost everything. He was the last of his kind and he would never consider a human. His vow was not to get involved in interpersonal relations more than friendship. It was pure self-protection to avoid getting his hearts broken.

So how could it possibly be that he had told River his name when the only time he could was when he married her.

_"Are you married, River?"_ he had asked her on the day of the wedding of Amy and Rory.

_"Yes,"_ she had replied. Whatever this meant.

He didn't want to, he had told her that and he meant it. He didn't want to get involved with his hearts. Yes, they have married but this wedding took place in a reality that actually never existed and he didn't told her his name he just revealed the secret of his master plan to fake his death to her.

Therefore the real wedding was still to come and he fears that day because he has no idea why he would or should marry this mysterious woman who and that he was sure of would break his hearts one day. One day he would have to leave her. The day would come when he will meet her for the last time. He knew how painful it was to leave someone behind. He remembers vividly how it felt as he watched River sitting in that chair in The Library he should have sit in, the countdown to her death blinking cruel next to her and he could do nothing than watch her die. He didn't want that for her, he didn't want to hurt her but he knew he couldn't prevent it. However, he also knew that he already was involved too much so that he would suffer anyway. So the question that was bothering the most was the other one. The one about how involved he really was. The question if he will fall in love with a certain archaeologist or rather if he already was in love with River Song.

"Doctor?" A voice called him and the Doctor jumped up from his seat.

tbc~

**Reviews please I need them badly! just one or two words are enough.**

**What else? This one of my fav chapters, it was the first I've written,the rest revolved around it. **

**Oh and you should remember or reread this part or at least the last sentence because in a later chapter will be revealed what happened next.**

**Next chapter is post-The Angels Take Manhattan with finally some new events ;)**

**btw, I posted some spoilers on my tumblr, sometimes I post some news about my fanfiction there, so feel free to follow me or visit my LiveJournal.**

**cu hopefully soon,**

**Rose**


	6. Loss and Damage

**Loss and Damage**

New York. The city that never sleeps. She had hoped that she never had to return there. It held so many sad memories.

A little child lost, dying in the streets of New York, abducted and conditioned to kill the Doctor.

Now it had been the City taken by the Angels. But not only New York was taken by the Weeping Angels. They also took her parents. Amy and Rory Williams. The Girl who waited and the Last Centurion. This had been the last adventure of them together, for them of course not for River and again she knew what would happen. But she could not tell them and also not the Doctor. She didn't dare to think about what he would've done if he knew that he would lose Amy and Rory that day. He would have done anything to save them. But he couldn't because it already happened. He had already gotten the book. The book she wrote was her story of what happened in New York. So she couldn't do anything although it was hard to just stand by. Again, the Doctor must have seen her as ice cold to let her parents go but there was nothing she could do, they had to let Amy go, too, it was the best for her. However, River felt guilty and it hurt her to see the Doctor grieving over her parents. She tried to comfort him but it was hard for her to find the right words, there were no words that would help at the moment. Not from her. So she went back to let Amy write an afterword for him. It was the least she could do for him.

When she was done with the book and returned to the Doctor he looked better. So it worked. She watched him for a while working under the console of the TARDIS. Then he came out from underneath and looked at her.

He sat on the glass floor glancing up to her and said: "Thank you."

"Always," she smiled back. He jumped up and started the TARDIS. River joined him.

"And I'm sorry," she said. "For what?"

He looked puzzled.

"For slapping you and what I shouted at you."

She had realized that she might have been a bit too harsh but it was just her wrist that got damaged and she wouldn't let him down whatever it takes. He should've already known but apparently didn't, so she had to remind him to be less sentimental and emotional when more was at stake than a broken wrist.

"It's already forgotten."

River sighed. "How?" her voice was low and whiney. That was embarrassing. She didn't want him to see her pain over the loss of her parents. It was obvious he would think it was his fault.

_"Never let him see the damage."_

So she cleared her throat and started again.

"How can you always forgive me so easily? I killed you and you forgave me. Dear, I think I can handle you being mad at me once in a time."

"No, you can't"

"What?" She had her hand on her hips. Now it was on her to look puzzled. Sometimes she hated him. Especially when he was right about her.

"I will always forgive you."

"Why…?" Her voice trailed away again. She had to hold herself together not to slap him again for those stupid things he was saying.

The Doctor looked away, searching for words. Obviously it was about something in the future. She just wanted to say something to leave it with that and not to press him any further as he spoke again but more to the buttons in front of him than to her.

"Because…it's the only thing I can do for you to repay for what I've put you through."

"What do you mean?"

"You should be mad at me. I should beg you for forgiveness. It's my fault that you were kidnapped, you were in Stormcage because of me, and you lost your parents…."

"That's not your fault!" She had raised her voice and her hand clenched to a fist. She was breathing in deeply to calm herself.

"Yes it is!" he exclaimed.

Then he sat down and buried his face in his palms. River held on to the edge of the control panel hardly, her knuckles turning white.

When the Doctor looked at her again she let go but couldn't look him in the eyes, she would only lose it again. She hated seeing him like that.

"But River, one thing…why are you taking all this? Why are you doing all this for me? You know me so well; you know how much trouble it can be traveling with me and not to mention our complicated relationship. Why are you…"

River was calm again, she almost chuckled. He could put her through so many emotions in just minutes. Sometimes her clever Doctor could be so, so stupid.

She looked very softly, smiling at him.

"It's easy. Every moment being with you is worth it."

He stared at her as if she had gone insane.

"River…"

"Listen," she interrupted him. "There's no need to be sorry or feel guilty. You do more than enough to make it all up. So we're even. Okay?"

He gave up for now and nodded.

Later she sat in the room that used to be Amy and Rory's, writing in her diary the latest events. On two places of the writing the words were blurred from the teardrops that had fallen on the page. Not only that her parents were gone, she also had to learn that she is giving the Doctor unwillingly a hard time, making him feel guilty.

When there was a knock on the door she shut the diary quickly and wiped the streams of the tears from her cheeks.

"Yes," she said, trying to steady her voice.

The Doctor came in. She looked up at him and put the book away. He stood there in the doorway, examining her.

"You are alright?"

She nodded but knew that he wouldn't believe her. He probably had already noticed that she had cried. He came over and sat next to her on the bed. He took her hand but she pulled it away, the memory of her broken wrist and their fight over it was still to recent.

The Doctor sighed.

"It's okay to be sad. Why are you always hiding what you feel? I can never tell what's in your mind."

River laughed. "I know you don't like it not to know what's going on especially when you can't figure it out."

"Please, River tell me. Once."

She looked down on her hands folded in her lap.

"I just don't want you to worry about me. You already carry too much. I don't want to be a burden to you."

"You're not."

"I need to be strong. For you."

"You don't need to. You can tell me when you're not ok. I'm there for you."

"I know." River whispered and rested her head against his shoulder and could let it go at last in front of him. He put his arm around her, his face buried in her hair. River felt so good and calm and secure to be hold by him like that. He was right it was easier to cope when you have someone to share your troubles with.


	7. Nomen est Omen

**Nomen est omen**

The Doctor held the last page of the book pressed to his chest when he returned to the TARDIS. He has read Amy's afterword and knew what to do now. A little girl was waiting for him.

He knew he couldn't see Amy and Rory again and he got so tired of losing his friends. He wanted to be alone for a while now, the pain of losing Amy and Rory was still too fresh but Amy and also River had told him more than once not to travel alone. River could be with him for some of the time but not always because of their reversed timelines.

There was another thing that was now troubling him. He hadn't much time left to sort everything out he wanted.

While River was gone writing the book he remembered a conversation he had with Amy some time ago.

_"Doctor?" A voice called him and the Doctor jumped up from his seat._

_Amy laughed. "What are you thinking about this time?"_

_The Doctor shook his head. "Nothing special," he said._

_Amy raised an eyebrow. "The last time you said that you were thinking about River. "_

_He looked away owing her an answer._

_"So it is about her again. What is bothering you? You are married. Oh wait! Is this the problem? Have you ever been married before?" _

_Again the Doctor left her answerless, fumbling with switches and levers on the console._

_"Ok, no need to talk." Amy pouted._

_"I'm sorry," he said simply._

_"Oh come on." Amy punched his arm._

_"It's complicated you know."_

_Amy looked very expectant and tried with puppy eyes._

_"Right then," the Doctor gave in._

_Amy smiled. "Good boy."_

_"Hey!"_

_"So?" she said curiously._

_"It's just that…when I met her the first time she knew my name. And I haven't told her yet."_

_"Why is that a problem?"_

_He hesitated._

_"The only time when I would ever tell anyone my name is…my wedding. As you know I haven't told her my name that day when we married."_

_Amy's eyes went wide. "Oh, I got it. It means you will marry her again for real. You got cold feet, that's it."_

_"Perhaps," he muttered._

_"Come on, what's the matter? You love her, don't you? You should do it and you should do it properly. I mean with a proposal and everything. She deserves it, don't you think?"_

_The thoughts were spinning around in his head. It was ridiculous. Now even Amy could read him so well. Apparently River had to get it from someone._

_"I have to think about it." With that the discussion was over._

The thought of Amy still hurt and he was traveling around very carefully not to get involved in anything, just watching. He was waiting for getting over it but without interfering, without the running he had too much time to think and he kept thinking about Amy and River.

After his talk with River he felt better because she wasn't mad at him but the guilt of what happened to her and her parents because of him was still there beneath the grief and pain of the loss, of all the losses he had experienced.

He didn't want to lose River, too. However she would be gone soon. He knew it when they met in New York and she told him she got pardoned and was professor now. So the day she would go to the Library would come soon and so had the day that she learns his name.

He was alone for a while now and made his mind up. He was already involved too much. There was no other way. His last day with River would come and his hearts would break again anyway, so he could make one last wonderful memory with her. He owed her that much at least. Also, he wanted it for himself. He had realized that he wanted to marry her not only because she needed to know his name, against all his Time lord pride, against all what being a time lord stands for, he was the last one left and could tell her whenever he wanted to, the wedding thing wasn't necessary he decided. No, he wanted to marry her for real this time because he wanted her to be his wife, because she was River Song, Melody, Pond, the daughter of his friends, the Ponds and, most of all, he loved her.

tbc~

Prepare for something entire new and some old friends and romance next chapter ;) That is please leave some reviews I really need them to go on *_*


	8. Dellah and Paris

**Dellah and Paris**

The Doctor stood in the TARDIS console room and looked at the information on the screen above the control panel. He just checked the data records of Professor River Song. There was a list of her current expeditions and investigations she had done and some of them she even led.

He had to find her so he had to leave her a message. The data record mentioned she had been to St. Oscar University on Dellah to meet a professor of archaeology there on the 27th July in 2594. So he typed in the coordinates to just a day previous and set the TARDIS flying.

He felt a little giddy because he could see an old friend again.

As he landed on the planet at the backside of a huge building he checked time and crossed the campus of St. Oscar University. He entered the main building where a female receptionist greeted him.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes please, can you tell me, is Professor Summerfield here today?"

"A moment, please." She checked the schedule on the computer. Then she turned to the Doctor again.

"Yes, she has a reading at the moment. It's over in about ten minutes then she should be available."

"Thank you," the Doctor replied. He spun around, waved at her with a smile and left the building. He crossed the campus again, in the direction of a large, barrel-shaped, brick building that was Garland College, one of the nine colleges at St. Oscars. There was the Department of Archaeology and the Rector rooms.

He waited in the hall outside Professor Summerfield's room.

When she finally arrived, the Doctor cleared his throat.

She looked up.

"Yes?" she said when she saw him approaching.

"Bernice Summerfield."

"Yes," she nodded, obviously wondering who he was and why he knew who she was.

"It's nice to see you again, Benny." He had a broad smile on his face.

"Who…?"

"Guess who," he winked. "The one who brought you here."

Her eyes widened. "It's you, Doctor?"

He nodded.

"You look different…again."

"I'm sorry I haven't visited earlier. How have you been?"

He knew because he had checked on her a few times since he had brought her to Dellah and he knew what would happen to the university and the planet in the future but he was asking out of politeness.

"Oh, I've been fine. Thank you." Now she was smiling too.

The Doctor shifted uneasily.

"Ah, actually I've come for a reason. I have to ask you to do me a favour if you don't mind."

"Sure," Bernice replied. "What is it?"

"Tomorrow, some archaeologists are coming here. Could you this," he produced a piece of indestructible paper from his pocket, "…give to Professor River Song, please?" He handed the paper to her. She looked at it and looked back to the Doctor.

"Sure," she said smiling, "I'll take care of it."

"Thank you," he beamed and took her hand in both of his.

"It was a pleasure to see you again, Bernice Summerfield."

"You won't do anything dangerous or silly, would you?" she said smiling sheepishly.

"No, of course not!" He assured her.

Then he stepped back and waved. She waved back and watched after him as he left, looking back at her once, winking before he was completely out of sight.

He went back to where he had parked the TARDIS. Once inside he spun around the console, flipping levers, pushing buttons with great enthusiasm.

After he landed he went to the wardrobe and put on a black suit. Then he checked that the special reservation he made earlier was done. When all was set he got a little nervous. He examined himself in a mirror. When he found himself looking appropriate he stepped outside the TARDIS. He stood in a huge, beautiful kind of park with a view on a large river sparkling in the light of the setting sun. Suddenly there was a crack and a flash of light.

"Hello Sweetie." Rivers voice came from behind him and he turned to face her. She held up the piece of paper which said "Honey we need to talk" and the coordinates.

"What's the matter, calling me like this?"

"Hi, River. Thanks for coming."

He approached her and smacked a brief kiss on her cheek.

"What choice did I have?" she retorted with a seductive smile and glance.

He left this uncommented.

"Where are we?"

River looked around trying to recognize something.

"Turn around."

The Doctor turned his head in the opposite direction, skywards. River did the same and stood stunned.

"Paris." She acknowledged from the sight of the Eiffel Tower.

"New Paris, to be exact," he grinned.

"It's beautiful," she said, "but what are we doing here?"

"Wait and see. But first, go and dress as beautiful as you can. Not that you need to, you're always beautiful, but you might want to."

River laughed.

"Give me two, no, five minutes."

She hurried into the TARDIS. When she came out again he was out of words. She wore a long black dress that emphasized her figure very much and showed a lot of cleavage and her red High-heels.

"Ah, you look, erm…wow."

She laughed again and the Doctor held out his arm, crooked and she took it.

He led her to the Eiffel Tower. A digital sign on the lift said "Closed for tourists due to special occasions. Thank you for your understanding."

River looked disappointed but The Doctor pressed a button on a communicator next to the door. A small green light flashed and a metallic female voice said: "Welcome to the Eiffel Tower. Please state your name and your intent."

"It's the Doctor and River Song. We got a reservation for tonight."

"Please wait a moment," the voice said.

River smiled at him and he winked.

"Access granted." The voice commented and the door opened. They were brought to the highest platform where a waiter in a suit welcomed them and led them into the restaurant. It was empty. "You!" River nudged the Doctor. Apparently, he reserved the whole platform just for the two of them. The waiter showed them a table at the outside terrace with a stunning view over the city. They sat down and the waiter lighted the candle on the table. It was artificial light but you wouldn't notice if you don't know. There was some delighted piano music playing in the background.

They watched the sun set. It was beautiful but when the sun was gone it was even more so. The countless lights of Paris beneath and the light of the infinity of stars above illuminated the night and was all reflected in the dark band below that was the Seine.

tbc~

reviews are much appreciated ;) I really need to know what you think of this chapter I#m very fond of it for some reasons and the more you write the sooner I'll update^^


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